TRYING TO REGAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE?
Believe it or not, it is part of the healing process -- helping yourself emotionally and physically.
Earlier this year, I got a tip that the person I admire isn't really into girls who dye their hair frequently or to put it simply - he likes women with natural hair color. So the moment I realized that I liked him, I felt scared and threatened because I dye my hair almost every three months.
You know what I did after knowing that "trivia"? I instantly stopped coloring my hair. As much as possible, I always maintained my natural hair color. I avoided salons and I tried my best to make my hair seem low maintenance -- after all, the most flattering hair color is your natural hair color, right?
There was a time when I got so frustrated, instead of dying my hair with the lightest shade possible (which is my usual habit) I ended up cutting half of my hair just so I can still maintain my natural hair color whilst still trying to impress him.
I was aware that as I chop half of my locks off it would also mean removing a huge chunk of my confidence. If I'm not mistaken that's the shortest I've gone since 2013. While my confidence level decreases my insecurity level increases.
Before, I spent so much money on hair products and hair experiments because I feel like my hair brings so much confidence in me. My mom would always remind me how our hair can add to our beauty - which is true and I still live by it up to this day.
Yesterday, I finally decided to dye my hair. It was a very hard decision. Funny to think that there was even a time when I already stepped into a random salon but ended up going home because I still want to impress and not treat myself like what I always do.
So after dying my hair for two days (because that's how OC I am with hair coloring), I went out of the salon feeling very happy and extra confident. I knew right there and then -- my confidence level shot up!
It doesn't mean that I don't like that person anymore, I just did something I know will not impress him but would make my inner self happy. Besides, how I treat him does not depend on the color of my hair. I still treat the person with so much care and respect. He might not like what I did but I surely like my new look and who knows? Maybe he would appreciate the self-confidence I am starting to gain, if not, then maybe somebody out there will appreciate my hair color the way I do.
HOW EXACTLY DO WE REGAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE?
- STOP DOING SOMETHING JUST TO IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE
This is self-explanatory. Do things for the right reasons and most of the time, you have to do it because you're doing it for yourself. If coloring my hair would boost my confidence then why not do it? if you have something that you always do but stopped doing just to impress other people then you're definitely doing things the wrong way. I am sure nobody will be impressed with people who are not acting naturally just because we want to get someone's attention.
- DON'T ACT LIKE SUPERMAN OR WONDERWOMAN
Let's admit it, we cannot do everything. There are things that we simply can't do and we just have to accept that fact. However, accepting doesn't mean not trying. There's a huge difference between acceptance and simply not doing anything. Sometimes, we get upset because we think we can do everything but at the end of the day we just couldn't. We end up getting so tired and burned out. So here's a good advice, its not bad to try but if you've tried so hard and still can't - just admit it and be open for acceptance. Always remember that admitting defeat and owning failure won't make us weak, in fact it makes us stronger because we are strong enough to say that we make mistakes. Cliche as it may sound but -- to err is human.
- DO SOMETHING THAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL
If that would entail you doing a daily selfie then do it. After I put on make up I always make sure to take a selfie because I like appreciating my work of art. Funny as it may seem but we have habits that makes us feel beautiful -- like going to the bathroom and just stare at the mirror. Here's an advice I got from an old friend: every time you wake up from your bed, stare at the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are. I swear you will feel extra confident and you will definitely start your day right.
At the end of day, you'll be surprised how you've regained your self-confidence and how people will be amazed with how you handle yourself and how strong you've become. Good luck and let me know if you have any advice.